lay on top of me

Written by Sophia Stopper 
Dec 20, 2025

I’m obsessed with you. And it doesn’t help when I show my therapist your art and she says, he’s a nice guy who cares about you based on what she’s seeing. I knew I wasn’t crazy. I knew you were making art for me. Thinking about me. But now I see you use the word “delusionships” and I wonder how pop culture you’re being. Probably not that much. I hope. More thinking about how delusion drives our relationship. I mean it’s why I reached out to you to initially break the silence. How I am damned not remembering the words that were exchanged during that last time. I try to remember and all I can come up with I think I asked you to lay on top of me. I just wanted to feel your weight pressing me into the mattress or floor. Whichever. Wherever you want, babe.

Wow–I’m sorry lorenzo. I’m so sorry for everything. For everything. I wish you could feel my apology for causing you pain and anxiety on your chest, over your heart, pumping in tandem with it. Because this apology is alive. I will live it the rest of my life because I cannot stop reaching out to you. I will always pop up in your inbox because I will always think of you.

I see you use the word delusionships plural. You must mean more than one. Are you talking about yourself too? Did you think I forgot about you all those years I was silent? Never, my dear. Sometimes a tidal wave, always an undercurrent.

But we’ve both made each other into something the other is not. How can we contend with this?